“Martins behave yourself and come back here”, I replied her with “Fuck off” because I’m bad like that; Brethren, I had already done some James Bond U-turn, I was right there before she could reply me on BBM. Okay pause! I forgot to tell y’all, Tara is like a strong 9; This babe is dead gorgeous… She stepped into the car and I just kept staring, Paulicap was still cracking dead jokes… She wore this little black dress that just made life better, you get me?

See! Tara’s father is a major general in the army and I am a proud coward, I tried to take her home as fast as possible. She told me not to worry ‘cos her parents were out of town. So we could just go anywhere. She noticed I was really tipsy, so she suggested we parked somewhere, I parked somewhere in 5th avenue, Gwarimpa. Drake’s music made things a bit too awkward, the lyrics kept swinging subs at me.. She never looked at me in the eyes, she kept looking through the window which was really weird. I noticed she was sobbing and I asked her what’s up, aunty was really crying..

She rained down insults on me, she called me insensitive and selfish, I was just staring like “what’s going on here?” I tried the snappy steal a kiss move to ease the tension but you trust Naija girls, she slapped my mouth. I was not sure how to react, I had one too many shots of alcohol so low-key I was tripping… I felt really bad/sad and the music made things even worse.. But then, like I said “you trust Naija girls”, she killed the dead music… P.s Tara and I had a really good connection with music, we almost had the same playlist. She played Gyptian – wine slow; Maybe you should listen to that song , so you know what time it is. I had my medicated glasses on and she took them off my face, the doctors lied, cos my eyes were perfectly fine at that point. Need more details? Let’s not stress it.

I asked her to come sit with me, but she preferred to sit on me, I told her to feel free to sit at her own risk. I tried to toshhh* her, she spanked my hand and she insisted I let her talk, I said “okay “. She finally let me close enough just so I could help her pack her hair. And it was at that point she messed up. A few neck kisses changed the whole story, Arghhh. Basically things got really heated up and…

Guess What Happened Next?

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