First times can be difficult, but that shouldn’t stop you from popping the cherry if the time’s right. Read on to find out how to do it the right way.
There’s always a first time for everything. And if you’re a guy, you may be one of those “lucky” few who chanced upon someone who will make you their first time. Exciting? Maybe! Big responsibility? Definitely!
Popping the cherry, also known as devirginizing or deflowering a virgin, can be a very delicate situation for you and her. You’ll have her emotions to consider, as she may feel a special connection with you for choosing you as her first. There’s also the attachment that might follow. After all, you’re her first time, and that’s something she might remember for the rest of her life.
And this brings us to the next point. Since you’re her first time, popping her cherry is so much different from a roll in the hay with someone experienced. There’s going to be pain “and possibly a little blood” involved, as you are going to break that piece of membrane near the opening of her vagina, called the hymen.
How to gently pop the cherry of your girl
So before you get at it with your girl, consider these tips so that you can gently pop her cherry and welcome her into the beautiful, sensational, and pleasurable world of sex.
#1 No pressure. Losing her virginity can be a big step for her. As for you, being the guy to accomplish the mission, it can be a lot to deal with, too. Therefore, don’t put any pressure on her or yourself. Talk about it and mentally prepare yourselves for the moment. If planning THE day will give you any reassurance, do so. The important this is that you’re both comfortable with the idea and relaxed enough “when the time comes” to have a successful, memorable experience.
#2 Is she really ready? Make sure it’s not a spur-of-the-moment decision, or that she’s not just carried away in the moment. If there’s one thing you don’t want her to feel after you pop her cherry, it’s regret; especially if you are in a serious relationship with each other. Also, make sure that she’s not doing it just because you want to. Set things straight and make sure she wants it because she wants it, and she’ll take her own share of accountability in the process.
#3 Put her comfort and emotions first. As a virgin about to tread unfamiliar waters concerning her sexuality, she may feel all sorts of mixed feelings. She may be scared, excited, hesitant, happy, prepared, and so many other things. Allow her to sort out her emotions until she’s truly comfortable. Once you come to the moment, you still have to prioritize her comfort and emotions, as this is, again, a big step for her.
#4 Consider the time and place. Unless she asks you to take the wheel, let her choose the time and place for where and when she wants to do it. This will make her feel in control and therefore more comfortable. After all, she’s already in knots anticipating the moment, so deciding on a place and time that is comfortable for her might make her feel better. Just remember to keep the place very private and far from distractions. Also consider the time and make sure you are in no hurry to have that first intercourse, as this may probably “and ideally” take up quite some time.
#5 Go the extra mile. Make the moment extra special for her. Instead of focusing only on the act of deflowering her, as you might be anticipating “or dreading” the moment, go the extra mile by making her feel special. The moment of actual intercourse is also an occasion in itself, so you will want to make it memorable, too. Starting with an extra special and sweet date can be a great way to show her just how much you care.
#6 Take it slow. You both have to be calm and relaxed about it, no matter how anxious you may feel. Try to take things slowly, starting from the events leading up to the big moment. Start the day in a light mood, maybe even go out for a movie or a relaxing walk together. Once you two are alone, remember to take it slowly still, no matter how hot and horny you may feel for each other. The secret here is to arouse her. And if there’s one time in your life when you have to be great at foreplay, this could just be it. Kiss, tease, and caress her to get her in the mood and make her wet.
#7 Ease her into it. One of the best tips many would tell you about deflowering a girl is to ease her into it, physically. While her mind says “go,” her body may say “no,” and that could be the problem. Therefore, if she’s a little dry and tight down there, you may want to go down on her just so she gets extra wet. Once you have accomplished this, you can try fingering her. In as much as breaking the hymen may hurt, the unfamiliar friction inside her may be uncomfortable, so doing this with your finger “and maybe later on, two” may help stretch her a bit more, lessen the trauma, and run things along.
#8 Lube things up. Another great technique is to use lubrication. Since this is her first time, her vagina will be very tight. So lessening the friction as much as you possibly can will make the experience less painful and even more pleasurable. Just remember to keep stimulating her, especially on her clitoris, so she will be more excited and aroused.
#9 It’s going to be messy. Since you’re going to penetrate her for the first time, you have consider that you are going to break through a piece of membrane in her body, and this can result to a little blood “or possibly more”. It varies for every woman, but it’s best to have a towel underneath her, just in case.
#10 Be gentle. Once she’s well lubricated and you both feel that the time is right, you may want to position yourself gently as you slowly get inside her. Remember, just as you think you’re being gentle, be gentler still. Move in slowly and never try to force yourself inside her, unless she indicates otherwise.
#11 Stop means stop. Somewhere along the way, she may experience a change of heart, brought on by fear, pain, or both. Whatever her reason is, be prepared for the possibility that she may want to call it quits. If she says “stop,” then you have to respect her, because after all, it’s her body that is changing at that very moment.
#12 Have protection. Most importantly, you have to have some condoms handy. There are many myths surrounding the act of popping a girl’s cherry, and one of them says that it’s all right not to wear a condom because she won’t get pregnant the first time. This is utterly untrue, and you can actually get her pregnant and even risk contracting or passing on unwanted STDs. Besides, a lubricated condom can also make your penis slide inside her a little smoother and easier.
Being the guy to deflower a girl can be a huge honor and responsibility. It takes a lot of preparation on both your parts in order to make sure that it goes smoothly and won’t be traumatic for either of you. However, you have to be open to the many situations that can arise, even to the fact that you may not even complete the deed. There may even be times when you have to go at it many times before you can finally say that you popped the cherry. The important thing is that you both have realistic expectations and that you are aware of the consequences after you’ve done the deed.
So there you have it, some valuable tips for popping a girl’s cherry, whether she’s your girlfriend or someone you’ve just met. The important thing is to make her feel comfortable and that she’s in control of what is going to happen to her body. All these efforts will be worth it, because once you do it right the first time, she’ll be asking for more.