Hey guys, EroticNey here again with another episode of Diary of a sex Addict . I hope you like it. Please drop comments on the post (Your feedbacks are needed).

I definitely wasn’t ready to go up next , maybe tomorrow or next week but not today !

Mrs Heinz (the therapist ) looked around the room , as If she was looking for someone to pick , I kept my head down , avoiding eye contact so she wouldn’t pick me.

Nandi, can you share with us please? “ she said looking at the lady sitting next to me .

I was so relieved, it’s not that I don’t want my story to be heard , I just need time , I’m still recovering from the trauma , my therapist told me this support group would help, you know what they say “talking about it , heals “ but does it really?or it only makes you feel better for a minute just because someone will feel sorry for you , honestly I’m tired of hearing “I’m sorry you had to go through that “.

Nandi was wearing tight highwaisted jeans , with a vest that showed her perfect cleavage, she had the body of a goddess , I was interested to know what she had to say , she must have a shit load of men asking her out on a daily basis .

Hi My name is Nandi and I’m a sex Addict

Diary of a sex Addict: Love couldn’t change me 1

Crowd :” hey Nandi”

Well I don’t know where to begin honestly, I feel like I have been sexually active my whole life . My innocence was taken from me from a very young age , forcefully and Trust me this is not an excuse for my addiction, I know putting the blame on someone else doesn’t help , it just makes you a victim but I honestly think if I wasn’t raped by the age of 10 , my sex life would have turned out different, I wouldn’t be here today, and I’ll tell you why I think so.

So let’s get the sad part out the way , yes I was raped by my uncle over and over again , to be precise I think he raped me for 3 years , he started when I was 10 and stopped when I was 13, and the only reason he stopped was because he got a job offer in another country and decided to take it .

Now the question you all probably want to ask is why didn’t I report him or let my family know , and my answer to that Is

I was scared , I thought maybe I would get in trouble or they wouldn’t believe me but deep down in my heart I know that , that’s not the reason why I didn’t report it , I didn’t report it because I was used to it , yes, after the 4th or 5th time he did it , I was used to it, he used to rape me like 4 times a month for 3 fucking years , this man raped me so much that I actually started fucking enjoying it .

You probably judging me right now , but look at it this way , if you got arrested and was sent to the most dangerous jail ever , and the only way to survive it is if you become somebody’s bitch , trust me even if you are not lesbian/gay you will find a way to enjoy it or make peace with it , because it will make your life better for that period you locked up for . The only difference with me was that I had no idea when he would stop doing this and let me free , but the funny thing is when he did stop and decided to leave the country, that’s when my addiction started.

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The consequences

Diary of a sex Addict: Love couldn’t change me 2

I was thirteen when he left , so I was already a teenager but I didn’t look my age , I was curvy , big boned and my small boobs were already showing . My parents were never around much , they were always at work , they travelled all the time hence my uncle could have his way with me and did not get caught at all.

Since my uncle was no longer able to “babysit “ me because of his new job , when I turned 14 my parents sent me to boarding school, I didn’t want to go but I didn’t have a choice , My uncle was gone.

Making friends was really hard for me because I was used to being home schooled , uncle was my only friend, I missed him , I missed his rough hands , I missed the way he would choke me when I tried to scream , I missed the way he would just force his penis inside me while I was asleep , I missed the way he used me and my vagina , I… I missed being raped.

I had a very weird roommate(who today is my best friend), she would tell me that at night I would talk in my sleep and say things like “ you hurting me , get off “ she was really worried about me , so because of that I called my mom and told her I want my own room , it was not allowed but because my parents were rich they could do anything they want , when I got my own room that’s when the masturbating started .

I would masturbate 4 times a week , on the exact same days that uncle used to rape me , just different date , doing that would help me relive the past, it’s like I would feel his presence there , and you know uncle wasn’t gentle , so to feel that exact pain I used a big cucumber to masturbate ,I would just lay in bed and just imagine uncle pinning me down and tearing my under wear and just shoving his penis inside me , imagining that on its own made me so horny and wet , then I would just roughly shove in the cucumber inside me , push it hard until I feel it in my uterus, it hurt so fuckin bad but I loved it.

I masturbated like that until I was sixteen, I never wanted any other man in my life besides uncle , who I haven’t seen for years , and I probably won’t see forever . I asked myself will I masturbate till I die ?

That’s when I decided to start dating , I thought maybe that would change me but it didn’t .

I started dating a boy who was in grade 12 named Kelvin , he was eighteen years old and I was sixteen years old , so he was matured , I never really liked men my age and that didn’t surprise me.

Kelvin was so in-love with me , he was romantic , kind , sweet and so gentle . He treated me really good but that wasn’t enough for me because whenever I asked him for sex he would say his not ready , and all I wanted was to get fucked.

I turned 17 and I told him that I want to have sex as my birthday present , he agreed but when the night came for us to have sex , it was so disappointing, he did all the right things

Kissed me passionately, he didn’t just shove his penis in , he rubbed my nipples first , licked them and was biting them softly

He fingered me , he was so fucken gentle , after fingering me he put his head in between my thighs and licked my Pussy till I orgasmed , he would ask am I okay every 10 minutes,he did things to me I didn’t know about , things I have never experienced, things that would make any lady fall Inlove and say his the one but as much as he made my fluids flow and made me moan it wasn’t enough .

I wanted to be pushed against the wall and be slapped across the face , I wanna be used , I wanna be abused, just like way uncle did it , fuck me , don’t make love to me.

He ruined me

Diary of a sex Addict: Love couldn’t change me 3

He damaged me for life , today I am 25 years old and can’t stay in a relationship because I want my boyfriend to rape me . Today I do not understand what love is because of what he made me experience, and made me believe what love is . “ I did it because I love you “ that’s what uncle said last year when I saw him at my grandmothers funeral when I asked him why did he do that to me .

Those words keep ringing in my head , even right now as I stand in front of you ladies.

Ask me what’s my body count ? I don’t know

I keep changing men like they are a pair of shoes because I’m looking for something I cannot get , only uncle can give it to me .

Last week I found myself in a dodgy bar , I was wearing a short skirt with a vest that revealed my cleavage. The men in that bar kept on touching me and harassing me , I pretended like I don’t like it but deep down in my heart I knew that’s exactly what I was looking for because I do it all the time . In my skimpy outfit I went to go smoke a cigarette just right next to the men’s toilet, this man walked up to me , he was wearing a cap so I couldn’t see his face properly , he pushed in one of the toilets

Lifted up my skirt and just shoved his penis in , while his hand covered my mouth just the way Uncle did it , and it really pains me to say that I enjoyed it , I loved it.

I literally put myself in a situation that would make me a victim of rape on purpose because I enjoy it and that’s why I’m here today .

I’m an addict and I need help

Nandi was in tears , and so was everyone else in the room , I couldn’t believe it

I didn’t even know that people can become addicted to such a painful thing ,I just wanted to walk up to her and tell her it will be okay but I couldn’t

I just froze because I remembered they I also still have a story to tell , I also need help.

that’s it for today , thank you ladies , we have some refreshments at the back . See you next week for another session “ said the Therapist.

As I was rushing for the refreshments because damn I was hungry , the therapist tapped me on my shoulder and said “ next week you going up first “.Shit!

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