You read Feezah’s part of #DejiDay but I plead with you to do well to read my story till the end. Did Feezah tell you we once dated? I’m pretty sure she didn’t.
While we were going out, she never for once slept with me because she swore she was celibate and she planned to remain so. I love sex more than anything, but because I really loved Feezah, I decided to buy into her celibacy dream. To cut the long story short, she was sleeping with two of my friends while she was still being ‘celibate’ with me. I forgave and later, she broke up with me on the grounds of my not being ‘understanding and supportive’ enough. . . I was still basking in the depression from the heartbreak when I got laid off work.
My rent was due and my family was in bits and pieces. I had downed about a million and one shots of vodka that night to take my pain away. Someone recommended marijuana and I decided it wasn’t a bad idea either. . . I got the shock of my life seeing Feezah at my door at the time of the night, dripping wet. And, sincerely, I felt sorry for her but the way her clothes clung to her body had me losing my mind. A part of me wanted to rip her clothes and have my way with her. Remember, alcohol and drugs were flowing through my bloodstreams. I fought the thoughts and gave her a change of clothes. . .
I was going to sleep on the floor but she objected to it on the grounds that she wouldn’t want to inconvenience me. As we laid in bed, side by side, I tried my hardest but I couldn’t take my eyes and mind off her butt that was arched just a few inches away from my genitals. I tapped her to tell her I had to go sleep elsewhere, but before I could get the words out, I felt my hands on her breasts and a sudden anger enveloped me. Anger of all that she did to me. Anger of all that was wrong with me. I made up my mind to have my way with her, and I did. . .
Now, I’m not here to justify rape or anything. I acted wrongly and I take full responsibility for the way I acted. I’m here, before the courts of your hearts, filled with utmost remorse, asking that you temper justice with mercy. The horror of that day is etched in my memory, forever. #FeezahWrites