You know the saying that goes “The dog that wants to lost would not hear the whistle of the owner”? Well, that was the case here.
I heard my room mates talking about a guy and his description were all too familiar.
“I say babe if you see this guy, he sharp walahi.” Rachel said.
“Who are you guys talking about? Been hearing your voices from the hallway.” I said.
“Rachael just started talking to this new guy and she’s already in love with him” Tolu said facing me.
“Tell me more about him. Show me pictures too” I said excitedly.
“Show her the ones of you guys at the hotel.”
She was just gushing over him and telling us how in love he was with her and how he has made plans for both of them. She said and I quote “I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
Lo and behold, the pictures were Goke’s. I just smiled, complimented the picture and lay down on my bed. So many thoughts running through my head, How did they meet each other? where did I stand? What’s going on? I was beginning to lose it so I texted him telling him I wanted us to see and talk. Now the question was, “should I attack him with proof or should I just act indifferent”. I really needed to know what my next move was; the thing is, I was low-key liking him and was already starting to think he was “the one”; But my one was someone else’s.
Even though he hadn’t officially asked me out, I saw him as a boyfriend. I ran to him when I had problems, confided in him, showed him sides of me no one else knew about; Tbh, Goke felt like home to me and he wanted to ruin everything. I was already jumping into conclusions without even hearing his side; I pushed the thoughts to the back of my head and slept.
He came dressed in a white native and had his beards trimmed, he was looking fine as hell and all the negativity flew away. This guy was my weakness and it took me a long time to know it; Goke was everything! I was starting to get sad again and he noticed it.
“Babe, what’s going on? You seem distraught.”
“I’m fine, I’ve just been thinking” I said smiling
“I know you’re hiding something from me so spill. Remember, I know if you’re fine or nah without you telling me.”
Was this supposed to calm me or scare me? Like, this is just complicating things for me. I needed answers and I need them now.
“What are we doing? Is this like a phase you’re going through or what? Am I your girlfriend? Do you have feelings for me or whatever?” You never ask someone that hasn’t officially said he likes you what you guys are; NEVER! But I had to break this rule, I needed to know what I was in to; I didn’t want to be at the losing end.
He stared at me and ran his hand through his head; this is a move guys make when they are in a tight spot. I just stared at him and was almost tearing up; I was soft and things got to me easily. I just watched him in wonder and waited for him to speak. He finally did after what felt like hours.
“I don’t want a relationship. I feel happy with you and we have a good vibe but I don’t want anything serious. I know how it’ll feel and how it would seem like I led you on and I’m sorry. I don’t want you to feel terrible rn.. I don’t want you sad! you bring out the best in me babe. We’re good friends, I don’t want to lose you if we don’t work out ”
This was painful for me and also for him ‘cos I saw his eyes and they spoke volumes. I teared up immediately, It was the first time I cried over any any guy especially in his presence. God, I was heartbroken; I couldn’t say anything, I just cried my eyes out. I summoned the last strength I had and asked “What about Rachael? Did you tell her all these too?” Instantly, his demeanor changed.
“Who is Rachael? There’s no Rachael” he asked being defensive
“You do know she’s my room-mate right? She showed me pictures.. You guys were together last week Goke. Don’t even fucking lie to me” I said still crying profusely.
“This hurts ‘cos even though you know I know your lies, You still lie to my face. This is a different kinda low and I hate you for this” I said and left immediately not looking back.
“Babe! Wait! Lemme explain! It’s not what you think. Just wait please.” He said calling out to me but I didn’t look back… I was long gone; Gone like the wind!